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May 14, 2012 / Sez

Don’t (Poetry Form 62: Balassi)

Had a rather nasty experience this weekend. People who constantly compliment the bodies of women they don’t know well, ignoring their opinions and/or requests to stop, and defending the behaviour as freedom of speech and harmless compliments…Oh… Just so not good for my emotional wellbeing.
Guys, I know it’s not most of you. I know that.
But a little rule of thumb here. If you want to pay a woman you do not know well a compliment, imagine saying it to a man. Does it make you sound gay? If so, it isn’t appropriate unless you’re in a specific dating context. Otherwise, you WILL look like a giant perv and freak her out. Even if she doesn’t say so. She’s gonnabe running off to the toilet with her friends to go “euuurgh creepy man!” No matter how polite she is to you. Know this. Know this.

Herewith a poetry PSA for a certain kind of male.
It’s a Hungarian form called a Balassi named after the creator.

It’s not charming or sweet
If you if you find that you treat
All the women you meet
As mobile decorations.
Admiring their beauty
(Or worse still, their booty)
And calling them cutie
Has some ramifications.
Though you may mean no harm
What you think of as charm
May cause women alarm
– Seems a lot like predation.

If the words women say
Seem to get in the way
But their tits are ok,
So their statements you ignore
They say you’re out of line
But you know that it’s fine
To see girls and think “mine”
Admiration; nothing more.
When they ask you to leave
You can hardly believe
This irrational peeve
So you stay, though they implore.

Why not try something new?
-It’s not all about you
And though it maybe true
That some people do have breasts,
They also have a brain
Their own past, their own pain
So I say once again,
That it really would be best
To see them as human
And stop with your grooming
I’m looking at you, man.
Be an ally. Not a pest.


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