Skip to content
November 23, 2013 / Sez

#100poems: 100: Sorry!

Well shit. I’m right out of ideas
The confirmation of my fears!
My mind is blank, my eyes are tired
My inspiration has expired.
It’s after midnight, nearly one
And though I’ve had a lot of fun.
It’s best now to admit defeat
Poem 100’s got me beat.

November 23, 2013 / Sez

#100poems Ninety Nine: 99

They used to make you say
Ninety nine
At the doctors
To see how wide your mouth
Would open.

One time
I was so ill
That I could only manage 46.

November 23, 2013 / Sez

Ninety Eight: Porn PseudonymsOf Your Favourite Radio Four Presenters

John Humps-me
James Naughty
Eddie Stallion
Jeremy Hardon
Brian Cocks

November 23, 2013 / Sez

#100poems Ninety Seven: Adbusting Horse

The horse is running
And running
Across the beach
In the sunrise
Oh and it’s glorious
Oh and it’s inspiring.
And the man who is filming it
Will make so much money
For a company that
Will sell so much aftershave.

The horse pauses
And looks into camera
And takes an enormous shit.

November 23, 2013 / Sez

#100Poems ninety six. Unfortunate personality quiz typo

Which Doctor Ate You?
Which Pony Ate You?
Which Character From Friends Ate You?
What LOTR Species Ate You?
Which Political Party Ate You?

November 23, 2013 / Sez

#100poems ninety five: New Zodiac

The furious marmoset
The failed variety performer
The pubic louse
The iPad
The pizza deliverer
The charity mugger
The two headed chicken
The taxidermied fox
The the invading alien fleet
The window
The bit of sky with no stars in
The lindy hop.

November 23, 2013 / Sez

#100poems ninety four. More fashion

My socks are odd, but then my feet are weird.
My tights are laddered but my legs can climb
My style is fierce and yet I am not feared
At this point it’s just nonsense words in rhyme…